Their excuse for such shocking ignorance is not necessarily that they were involved in anything sneaky or illegal. No, their excuse for this embarrassing scandal is that they are men.

I hate to be sexist, but this never would have happened if the company had been run by women. That’s because women always know where things are, or where they should go, while men, if asked to find something around the house, couldn’t do it for a million dollars.

So it is not unreasonable to expect that these Enron executives, whose wives undoubtedly handle all the household finances, had absolutely no idea what was going on.

I don’t run a company, and my family isn’t bankrupt, although we do have two children in college, so it may yet happen. But I can just imagine the scene if I had been called on to testify about the state of affairs in my house.

After I am sworn in, the grilling begins.

"Where," asks a congresswoman, "do the Tupperware containers go?"

As a man with nothing to hide, I answer honestly: "I don’t know."

"You don’t know?" another representative says incredulously. "This is your own house we are talking about, Mr. Zezima. How could you not know?"

"My wife keeps moving them," I reply.

"Maybe you don’t do the dishes often enough," the congresswoman chimes in.

"Maybe I don’t," I admit. "But that doesn’t make me a bad person."

"Tell us, Mr. Zezima," barks another interrogator, "how much did you spend on groceries last week?"

"I didn’t spend anything," I say. "My wife does the shopping."

"You eat, don’t you, Mr. Zezima?"

"Yes, three times a day."

"And you bring home a paycheck, do you not?"

"I have direct deposit -- I deposit my paycheck directly with my wife," I say with a chuckle, trying to lighten things up.

No one is amused.

"Who does the banking in your family, Mr. Zezima?" I am asked.

"My wife," I respond meekly.

"So, even though you are the head of the household, you have no idea where the money goes, is that right?"

"It goes to pay the bills," I say, sorry that I ever agreed to testify.

"You know what I think, Mr. Zezima?" the committee chairman says disgustedly. "I think you’re not fit to run your own family."

I bet the same is true of those "Menron" executives. The solution, of course, is to make my wife the CEO. Frankly, we could use the money.